Friday, September 2, 2016

The Mad Lexophile strikes again

Walt has received a communication from across the seas, from Agent 29, who passes along some aaarrgh-inducing puns from a lexophile friend on the other side of the world. Enjoy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I dropped out of Communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a typo.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

When chemists die, they barium.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

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