Sunday, July 31, 2016

For lovers of the English language

Ed. here. Walt has taken a couple of days off to ponder the meanings (if any) of the Republican and Democratic conventions. He is trying to figure out why any American would not vote for Donald Trump. In his absence, to fill the space, I have lifted a couple of posts from a bulletin board for ESL teachers....

On the importance of correct punctuation:

What's the difference between making love to twenty-nine year olds and twenty nine year olds? 25 years to life!

Never date an apostrophe. They can be possessive.

Two limericks:

There once was a man from Japan
Who wrote poetry no-one could scan
When told it was so
He replied, "Yes, I know
But I like to get as many words into the last line as I can."

There once was a gasman named Peter
Who, while trying to read an old meter
By chance struck a light
And blew out of sight
And, as anyone who knows anything about the structure of English poetry will tell you, also ruined the meter.

And finally:

A knock was heard on the Pearly Gates.
"Who's there?", Saint Peter said.
"It is I", replied the voice from without.
"Go to hell," said Saint Peter. "We've got enough English teachers here."

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