Thursday, January 14, 2016

LGBTQ... but wait, there's more!

Poor Len told you yesterday about Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's visit to Canada's biggest city (and fount of all evil), Toronto. We learned that Himself Jr. is a fan of the Montréal Canadiens, and that he has no hesitation in upstaging Toronto Mayor John Tory in the inevitable photo op.

You would think that with a name like "John Tory", hizzoner would be a loyal, true-blue, conservative Conservative. Indeed he was all of that, eons ago, when he was leader of the Ontario Progressive Conservative Party. He learned the hard way that being conservative doesn't pay off in the new liberal, multicultural Toronto, where straight white males like his goodself are almost an endangered species. In his last provincial campaign he was defeated by Kathleen Wynne, now Ontario's Premier, who is white enough, but better-known for being not male and not straight.

After sitting on the sidelines for a few years, Mr. Tory jumped back into the political pool, being careful to remove his party label before running successfully for the mayoralty. Now that he's MOAT (Mayor Of All Toronto), Mr. Tory has embraced diversity in all its forms, including, it would seem, gender ideology.

Since his election, Mayor Tory has never missed an opportunity to pander to the LGBT crowd. At least, "LGBT" is what he called the rainbow coalition at first. Then they added a "Q" (for "Queer"), and so did the mayor -- LGBTQ was the new politically correct acronym.

"But wait!", as Vince Offer used to say, "there's more!" Today, Agent 3 informs us, Mayor Tory announced the opening of a shelter for youths (16-24) of uncertain sexual orientation. And what did he call these poor, shelter-less queer people? "LGBTQ2S"! No kidding. Apparently the "2S" means "two-spirited", whatever that means. Maybe it means you're whichever "spirit" you feel like being at any given time. Or maybe it's what we used to call "AC/DC". No, wait... that's the "B", right?

It's all very confusing to us straight people. Whether we're more confused than the LGBTQ2S folks is another question entirely.

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