Sunday, September 20, 2015

Butch the Rooster: a parable for the next election

Agent 9 has been contemplating the campaigns for high office currently unfolding in Canada and the Excited States of America. He has sent us the following fable, complete with moral. It's the story of Butch the Rooster.

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records, and any rooster not performing was replaced and consigned to the soup pot.

Keeping track of who was doing his duty and who wasn't took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report just by listening to the bells.

Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but one morning she noticed that his bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but when the pullets heard the roosters coming, they would run for cover.

Old Butch was smarter. To Sarah's amazement, old Butch held his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch that she entered him in a show, where he became an overnight sensation among the judges. They not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize", but the "Pulletsurprise" as well!

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Moral: Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells!

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