Monday, February 2, 2015

Be careful when betting the horses with a priest

An inveterate fan of the Sport of Kings was at the races playing the ponies and after three races had all but lost his shirt. Just before the start of the 4th, he noticed a priest step out onto the track. The priest walked over to the starting gate, and blessed the forehead of one of the horses. Lo and behold, that horse - a long shot - won the race!

Next race, as the horses lined up, the priest stepped onto the track again, and, sure enough, blessed one of the horses. The punter made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small wager on the horse the priest had blessed. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the race.

The gambler collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless next. He bet big on it, and won.

As the races continued the priest kept blessing horses, and each one ended up winning. The bettor was elated! He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

Just as before, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race, walked over to the starting gate, and blessed the forehead of an ancient pony that was 100/1. This time, though, the priest blessed not just the forehead, but also the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. "Wow!", thought the gambler, "This one's a winner for sure!" and he bet every cent he had on it.

Imagine his consternation when the old nag pulled up lame at the 3/4 pole and couldn't even finish the race. In a state of shock, the bettor went looking for the priest, and found him headed for the stables. Confronting him, the dejected gambler demanded,"Father! I bet every cent I had on that horse! All day long, you blessed horses, and they all won, except that one! What happened?"

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. "My son," he asked, "Would I be right in thinking you're not Catholic?"

"No," the man replied. "I'm Jewish."

"Well, that's the problem," said the priest. "Not being Catholic, you couldn't tell the difference between a blessing and last rites!"

Thanks and a big Hiya, Leah! to Agent 6.

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