Saturday, October 18, 2014

Woman pukes in Pentagon parking lot, panic ensues

Walt's Weekend Quiz... Of which of the following dangers is the average American most afraid? Is it that:

(a) Islamic terrorists will storm out of the local mosque and behead the star reporter for the Morning Fishwrap?

(b) The speculators who drove the price of gas first up, then down, will connive to make it go back up over four dollars a gallon?

(c) A black person will vomit on their sidewalk, causing them to catch Ebola and die?

Judging from yesterday's reaction to a "protein spill" in a parking lot at the Pentagon, the correct answer would seem to be (c). The headline kind of gave it away, didn't it.

In a nutshell -- and that's a good word for this nonsense -- a woman, who Walt guesses was black, although the media are too PC to say so -- got off a bus in front of the Pentagon and threw up. Within two minutes -- not from when the barf hit the ground but from when she stepped off the bus -- emergency responders were on the scene. A tent was erected over the puddle. Hazmat gear was donned. Samples were taken. And the poor woman was rushed off to a nearby hospital where she was quarantined until it was determined that, errr, she hadn't been to West Africa, indeed hadn't been out of the USA in years, and, errr, was probably just suffering from motion sickness.

Walt blames the lamestream media for whipping average `Merkans into a near-constant state of frenzy with scare stories about threats that are virtually non-existent. Admittedly, I don't have the statistical proof for this, but I'd guess you have a better chance of being hit by lightning or winning the Superball lottery than catching Ebola. But in the Paranoid States of America, the media tells us we should be afraid, and we are very very afraid!

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