Thursday, July 31, 2014

Father Duffy's retirement speech

Father Duffy had been in the same parish for 22 years and was due to retire to an obscure parish in the most remote part of the archdiocese. The parish chapter of the Knights of Columbus decided to host a farewell dinner for him, and invited a leading local politician -- a member of the parish and a Knight -- to make a presentation and give a little speech.

Unfortunately, the politician was delayed, so Father Duffy decided to say a few words of his own while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.

"He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, had sex with his boss’s 17-year-old daughter on numerous occasions, taken illegal drugs, had several homosexual affairs, was arrested several times for public nudity and gave VD to his sister.

"I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things. But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived, full of apologies at being late. He immediately rose to make the presentation and give his talk.

"I’ll never forget the day of Father Duffy's arrival," he began. "In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession."

Agent 6, who passes this along -- thank you! -- tells us that the moral of the story is: never, never be late!

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