Canadian government could fall over election dirty tricks

The lesson of Watergate was (supposedly) that in an election in a democractic (note small "d") country, the contesting parties are supposed to play fair. Rigged elections are for places like Russia, Egypt and Zimbabwe. But in the democractic west, dirty tricks are to be punished in the courts and at the polls. Anyway, that's the theory.

Canada -- a democractic and fair-minded country if ever there was one -- had a general election* last spring. On only the third try, "Call me Steve" Harper's Conservatives finally got the majority of seats in the House of Commons, something they'd been lusting for since Walt's little boy was a little boy.

Mind you, the result was pretty close, with the Tories winning 165 of the 308 Commons seats. 11 seats fewer, and they might be sitting on the Speaker's left. And of the Cons' 165 seats, at least 11 were won by narrow margins, often in tight three-way contests against the Liberals and NDP.

Suddenly all this matters, because the validity of the results in 34 ridings has now been called into question because of -- you guessed it -- dirty tricks.

The Mounties and Elections Canada, the government agency in charge of rigging elections ["running", surely! Ed.] are looking into reports that "robocalls" -- automated telephone calls -- falsely advised voters that the location of their polling stations had changed. In other instances, voters received harassing late-night or early-morning calls that purported to be from an opposition campaign office.

Another lesson learned from Watergate (and recent US elections) is that dirty tricks work only if you don't get caught. Unfortunately for whoever was making the robocalls, many people now have "caller ID" on their phones. And some had the wit to write down the number from which the robocalls originated.

It has now been revealed that the calls were made by a company based in Edmonton, Alberta -- Canada's version of Texas and, like Texas, a hotbed of conservatism. And sure enough, the company, RackNine Inc., frequently works on Tory campaigns. But who was their client, and who actually ordered the calls to be made?

So far no-one has stepped forward to say "I am the one." Just by coincidence, though, a Conservative staffer named Michael Sona resigned from his junior position in the office of a Conservative MP. Neither his reported departure nor whether there was a connection to the robocall controversy could be confirmed, owing to Sona's virtual disappearance. What is known is that during the election campaign, he was working for the Conservative candidate in Guelph -- one of the targetted ridings.

Kneedipper MP "Pusillanimous Pat", speaking in the Commons on Friday, said it would be unacceptable for the Conservatives to scapegoat a junior staffer for the matter. He called for a public enquiry to get to the bottom of the affair, because "the facts as we know them to date would indicate a well-orchestrated, widespread conspiracy from the top, not some rogue punk out in the boondocks."

Liberal MP John McCallum said he hopes the investigation by Elections Canada will be a deterrent against the proliferation of "US-style political tactics". "Even if it’s just one seat, it’s important," he said. "I’m not saying this would make a difference in terms of a Liberal majority government, but in a democracy those who practise dirty tricks to subvert democracy should be caught and punished."

And it was McCallum's fearless (but "interim") leader, Bob "Ray" Rae, who brought Watergate into it. "We are entering into a kind of Nixonian moment in our political culture, where all kinds of dirty tricks seem to be possible, all kinds of dirty tricks seem to be encouraged," said the white-haired boy.

Who, then, was the mastermind of the robocall disinformation campaign? Here's all you need to know. The Conservative Party of Canada is led by the aforementioned Stephen Harper -- the Prime Minister -- who under that bland exterior is the meanest, surliest, dirtiest Canadian politician of the last half-century.

Harpoon's mentor (and former Tory PM) Brian Mulroney was described as a street fighter. Harper, by comparison, is an alley fighter. And he is the ultimate control freak. Not one freakin' thing goes on in his party or his government that he doesn't know about and approve.

The Liberals are demanding an emergency debate on the issue in the House of Commons on Monday. Will it do any good? Will Elections Canada or a public enquiry succeed in pinning anything on Harper? Walt's prediction: no. Lifetime pct .985.

* From Ed.: Do you know when the Chinese have their best elections? Just before bleakfast.